Vindaloo is not for you...

“How come you don’t smell like curry food?”...

To my horror...one of my workmates asked me this question not so long ago, in reaction to a customer who was of Indian origins and smelled like Indian food. Even though I knew my workmate meant no ill intent, they did however frequently 'grind my gears' so I wasn't too averse to the idea of messing them about. So I took it upon myself to make them feel guilty and self conscious about their question. As they internally wrestled with the regret of their curiosity and quietly waiting for my response, I pondered...

Did all Indians smell like curry? Were we like vampires? Did we too have a unique scent characterized by what we ate? Maybe not as sweet (unless you factor in fruit based curries) or alluring as the walking un-dead (or so I hear, personally I thought vamps were meant to smell like death seeing as they are technically 'dead', but that's a whole other can of worms) but just as evident. Maybe. I on the other hand never smelt like curry or curry related paraphernalia, I knew this as I was frequently sniffed by others (my unholy fear of stinking fed this compulsion). I didn't eat curry, I preferred noodles or chocolate. That might explain the absence of 'marsala' from my scent and the reason why others of my kind instinctively avoided me. Had evolution given us this extra gift as a survival mechanism, to weed out the 'bad eggs' like myself?

Finally I answered my beleaguered workmate. I knew what I should say, what was normal, the guy probably worked in an Indian Restaurant and the smell was the result of his workplace environment. But why be normal?, instead I muttered "because I bathe in natural yoghurt, it dulls the smell of the spices that ooze from my pores like summer in Calcutta". In reply I only got a puzzled look from my workmate, did I expect anything more?