“Man I wished I smoked…” All throughout my university life I thought this. During our tutorial breaks I for longed it. Well, it was either smoking or drinking lattes and flat whites while my fellow classmates discussed how this latte wasn’t as good as the latte they’d had an hour ago “far too weak and frothy” they‘d say. Funny how these would be the same people who last night would happily lick stale beer off the pub floor, yet complain about the quality of the virginal coffee beans used to make their $3 cup of coffee. I hated this whole ‘wanky’ coffee culture we mooched off the Europeans, so I decided upon smoking as to me it was the lesser of the two evils. But I hesitated when it came to lighting up. I never smoked as a teen as I feared that it would stunt my growth and for rest of my life I would forever be a short little battler. I shouldn’t have worried though, I was already doomed to view the world at 5ft2. But now my fear was public humiliation. It’s socially acceptable and sometimes astonishing to see a 16yr old coughing and wheezing after taking their first drag of a cigarette, much like witnessing a child taking their first steps, but I doubt that’s the same case for a bitter lass in her mid 20’s.
With my original plans thwarted, I suddenly thought why not cigars? It’s not like you have to inhale them, their strong, like inhaling 20 cigarettes at the same time, you ‘bumfluff’ them! Therefore I wouldn’t have to worry about the coughing and choking and crude stares from passer-by’s. And I could wear my straw fedora hat while smoked them and feel like a South American drug baron. Oh just think! But alas I did not live in Cuba, in this land smoking cigars in lieu of thin seductive cigarettes was only limited to triumphant sportsmen and business tycoons. My forward thinking ways would be too much to handle, I would be ridiculed and shunned by society, the government and even by my fellow smokers.
Why are people so unkind?…
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